Umm I'm too high to move.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
