if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
