Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize