just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
