I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize