I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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