you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
