ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
