from now on my penis is your penis
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
