I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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