I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
