I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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