that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize