wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
