I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
smell my finger.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
