You really coming over, don't trick.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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