i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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