you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
