I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
