You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
