Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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