Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
