lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
