K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I cannot find my penis.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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