best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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