brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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