I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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