It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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