she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
