I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
