Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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