I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
