Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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