Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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