i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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