Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ok first of all what the fuck
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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