double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
