So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
