hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
