3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
