she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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