why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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