I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Non-Jews are for practice
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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