Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
