Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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