I CAN MOONWALK!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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