Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
