it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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