Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
