if only i could text you this smell
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
