I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
