I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Is it penis luge time yet?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
