Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
