Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
