there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
