Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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