I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
