that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
ttyl tear gas
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize