Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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