Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
