I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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