..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
